Ricer Jokes

Let's Hate On The Rice

Notice: If you take anything personal on this page then you must be a ricer.

     Facts:
      1. Ricers are mammals.
      2. Ricers take up at least three parking spaces ALL the time.
      3. Ricers bleed pure rice that looks, smells, and sounds like excuses.

Q: What do ricers do when they're not cutting off cars in traffic or flipping out?

A: Most of their free time is spent playing on the Play Station or XBox, but sometime they make vague threats.
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Q: Why do ricers have heated rear windows?..........

A: Keeps your hands warm when you are pushing them home!

You read this page and then pissed off at school becuase you think im picking on you.

You saw the "Rice Boy" magazine in the back of Sport Compact, and inquired about a subscription

Your dad is worried cause you bought a car with less displacement than his lawnmower

The negative camber on you car makes it impossible for you to race.

When in bed you yell "Yeah baby, feel my 1.8 liters of fury!"

When someone calles you a 4 babger you take it as a come-on

 

You have more exhaust decibels than your engine has horsepower.

You put your automatic car in neutral at every stoplight in order to roll it back and try to fool other people into thinking you have a manual transmission

If you equate the sound of performance with the sound of a Weed Eater or you think a deep farty noise = the sound of high performance

You claim you lost the race because you had a passenger in the car, or your trans lost first gear.

You took out your backseat, and everyother trim and interior piece becuase it's the only way to beat a 3200 pound Mustang.

You say for every 100lbs of weight you remove only gain a tenth (and never been to the quarter) but you say your spark plugs are worth a tenth, that tach is worth a tenth, and your 5-point harness is worth the safety when running 16s

You don't know the differene between a GT and a V6 mustang

You sound like you're going 90, but you're creeping past 25

You rev on school busses

Hell, you rev on people in electric wheelchairs

You really want to kick my ass right now

You've ever painted bare, raw fiberglass black and said "Look! It's just like carbon fiber!"

You bring an empty Maxwell House coffee can with you to compare size when you shop for an aftermarket exhaust system.

You bought the big tach to scare off the fast cars

Hell, You'd add a huge ass tach to an automatic

You add a super tall rear wing, and a hundred pounds of aftermarket ground effects, neon and stereo yet you gut the interior and yank out the rear seat for weight savings.

You spent $5,000 on the engine and you can not out run a stock Mustang.

If the 1970 Plymouth Daytona Superbird has a smaller spoiler than your car does.

You think the Del Sol is a sports car... (I've actually had a guy try to race me in ones of these)

Your baseball cap is always on backwards when you drive (the first sign of mental retardation, wearing your clothes backwards...

MOMO and Type R sickers and steering wheel covers are 'absolutely required' to go fast.

If you've added SLT badges from your dad's dodge ram.

If you have more neon lights on your car than a strip club...

 

Nicer Ricers

A "Nicer Ricer" is a ricer that is a litttle nicer then the average ricer. Usually classified by turbos, classy styling, non-anoying exhaust, Admitts to being beat, and no excuses.