Just in time for my annual "I feel fat" crackdown comes this article, which got wide exposure yesterday... no pun intended. "As Americans get flabby, they spend more on fuel."
Whereupon my mind immediately started calculating how much faster my car would be if I lost that pesky 15 pounds. After all, it equates to carrying around a few phone books in the front seat. And I'd gone to such trouble entering the numbers for every pizza joint into my cell phone so that I could ditch the Yellow Pages.
Before anyone (especially family members, who like to have dramatic reactions to this type of musing) protests "You're Not Fat!!," I realize this. But wouldn't you agree that at approximately 5'3" and 105 pounds, Danica Patrick has a slight edge over her 175-lb male opponents at launch-time? And that Fox Mustangs make great project cars because of their inherent lightness? There is a small amount of logic behind this plan.
Then again, 15 extra pounds of driver weight hardly makes a difference with 100 pounds of Dynamat and subwoofers dragging down the back end. Think I'll make some eggs and Canadian bacon (400 calories) for breakfast, and keep saving up for a ProCharger.